Easter 2013

So lets see..... this Easter was spent with sick kids and a sicker husband. :(
But we still were able to get some egg hunting in, thank goodness. (insert sarcasm)

These were the best photos that i could get of all three of them. Sure love my kiddos!


We went to my grandma's house for the egg hunt! I remember many Easters there looking for eggs, now it is my kids turn.
They had so much fun!

The sickness started really fast. Thursday everyone was fine. We had a good day with school and the house was clean. I took them to the park. We were walking on a gravel walk away and i turned to look at Sam and he was throwing up in the gravel. I started freaking out because he had a huge handful of rocks in this hand so i was sure he had swallowed some and that was why he was throwing up. He kept throwing up so i took him to the ER. Looking bad i can see why all the nurses were giving big grins. He had x-rays of his belly taken and the doctor came and said that he had a stomach bug. I am sure they had a good laugh at me.... Silly lady thought that her son ate rocks when he really was sick! URG!

Oh well. Jacob got sick the next day and Neal was so sick on Easter. The girls dodge the bullet on this one. 

I am glad that is over and now it is April and I have 2 big birthdays to plan. Jacob turning 6 and Emma 4! What?!!

the constant battle

I haven't really been posting on here, nor have i felt like posting that often.
Sometimes i feel like i just write all this stuff and people roll their eyes and think i am crazy.
Maybe i am....
I mean I really don't know what i am talking about....
I just know how i feel and sometimes i just have to write it down.

Life has been crazy around here.
I feel like i am on a really fast moving roller coaster.
I have really high days, but also really really low days.
Days when i felt good about what i was doing
and days when I just wanted to cry in bed.
I knew that was going to happen, I expected that.
what i did not expect was the constant battle within myself.
I made my decision.
I chose my family over my distractions. (see this post)
Then why do i feel like Satan is trying harder then ever to try to make me distracted again.

We all have our own struggles, trials and temptations.
Most of the time we can't look at someone and see the pain that they have in their life.
Every morning I wake up and I have to remind myself who I am and what i want in this life.
Maybe it will get easier.
Maybe one day i will not hear that other voice anymore.
but for now I will continue to pray and read the scriptures and take care of my family..... even when i do not what to.
there are times when i feel like I have bitten off more then i can chew with this homeschooling stuff
But i know how i felt and i just have to have faith along with my works.

There are days that are hard, when i end up praying most of the day just to make it to bed time.
Then there are days that I feel amazing. When i know my Father in Heaven hears and loves me.

I trust in the good days.
I pray for "that Joy which is unspeakable"
I have Faith that through Him I am strong enough.

perfectly imperfect

i survived our first week of homeschooling.....
i can say that it went better then i was anticipating but it wasn't perfect.
that is something that i have come to learn and i am still learning.
it is not going to be perfect.

I have this woman in my head.
She wakes up early every morning and reads and prepares for the day.
She always makes a good breakfast for her kids.
Her kids are always calm and quiet and listen to her.
Her house is always clean and organized.
She makes homemade meals everyday
And her homeschool is always planned and perfect.

I know life is not like that.
life is not perfect.
Every day i pray that i can accept the imperfect parts of my life.
That i can accept my life the way it is and enjoy every moment.
It is so hard.

Today has been one of those days.
my kids are hyper and crazy.
my patience is lacking today.
the house is a mess and school didn't last longer then 30 mins.
I can accept that.
Tomorrow is another day and I can try again.
The Lord knows I have done my best.
I can accept that my life is perfectly imperfect.

Our school day looks like this....

wake up when ever (usually between 7:00-7:30)
Make breakfast (most of the time cereal but occasionally i mix pancakes or cream of wheat in the mix)
go upstairs to clean and get dressed. ( I try to read my scriptures while they play for a while.... it works most days....)
after we are ready we come downstairs and clean the kitchen and get school ready.
For school i start with a song and a prayer.
We learn a new song every week and a new scripture every month. ( it gives me something to teach.)
We read a story out of the Friend then i have them write/draw in their journals.
Then i have them do some worksheets out of some books i got. They really like doing those.
We have snack because by then we all need a break and I wish the weather was warm more then anything!
We read lots of books because that fills up time and play games.
I let them paint or color and then I am done.
School lasts maybe 2 hours and I think that is dang good!!!!
after lunch is naptime and I don't do anything after naptime, well except make dinner and put them to bed.
It helps that the kids enjoy doing school with me because if i heard that jacob wanted to go back it would be hard on me.
I feel the Lord is helping me and strengthening me. He knows my weaknesses and He is helping me to make them strong.

I am imperfect, just the way I am supposed to be.
Today didn't go as "Planned" but that is okay.

Going on Faith.....

I am going to be totally honest here......
Homeschooling is not something I ever, Ever, EVER would have thought to do.
There, with that out of the way I will tell you why I am going to homeschool my children.

If you know me and if you have been reading this blog you know having child #3 has been a difficult journey for me. A learning year. I have found out more about myself this year then really any other year. I have learned my weaknesses and faults.
and one of my biggest weakness is....... i get distracted.
I stay at home with my children, I feed them, i bath them and I clean the house for them but for the past year I have been distracted.
There are so many things that distract me.....
1. The Internet!!! That is the biggest one on the list. Ugh! Most days i HATE the internet but it sucks me in like a black hole and then 2 hours have gone by and nothing has been done that i said i was going to do and the house looks like a bomb went off!
2. Books. I love to read. I could spend hours reading and reading. I have come to realize that i enjoyed the fictional worlds way more then my own life.... That was something needed to change. I felt happy reading but  being pulled from the book world to my own left me feeling empty and i hated that.
3. TV shows. I love watching TV shows. I would sit at my computer and watch shows all day. Who care about the house? Kids go eat out of the fridge!
I was happy.... right? That stuff made me happy. Then why did i feel so miserable?

I hit the point where i was so unhappy that i knew something had to change or it was going to be bad.
I was praying one day, and i told Heavenly Father that i give it all to him. I gave him all my distractions. I told him that i would have faith that getting rid of those distractions and doing what i know i should be doing would make so much more happier then what those things are giving me.

Fast forward a few months and it is so true. I truly am more happy then any other time since Jacob was born. I am not saying that i never watch tv, or a never get on the internet or never read. I just try to balance it out and not let it take over my life. I spend more time with my children and I actually love it! I can read posts about mothers who love being a mom and not feel sick. I can look at my children and say to myself "This is where i want to be."

So with that all said that is how the Homeschooling journey began.
I started to pray for a way that I can be a better mom. For a way to not let those distractions take over my life again. Homeschooling was the answer.

I know homeschooling is not for everyone and I did not think it was for me. How could I teach my children everything they need to know! That is what scared me. It was overwhelming. After a lot of prayer and fasting I know that Homeschooling is what my family needs, this is what I need. I know that this will help me be the mom i want to be. I just have to have the Faith that Heavenly Father will lead us and show us how to teach our children. He wants them to grow and learn and Follow Him just as much Neal and I do. Satan is everywhere. he takes things that are good and turns them around on us. Satan knows I won't leave my children but he can make me hate being a mother. he can turn my heart to other things and not to my children. I will not let him do that.
I am strong enough.
I am courageous enough.
I am smart enough.

That doesn't mean I am not scared. I am terrified. But i am going to jump into this with both feet. It is going to be an adjustment for all of us. I am not a patient person, so there is going to be a lot of praying! I know it will take a while for us to find what works but i have faith that Heavenly Father will guide us there.