I am going to be totally honest here......
Homeschooling is not something I ever, Ever, EVER would have thought to do.
There, with that out of the way I will tell you why I am going to homeschool my children.
If you know me and if you have been reading this blog you know having child #3 has been a difficult journey for me. A learning year. I have found out more about myself this year then really any other year. I have learned my weaknesses and faults.
and one of my biggest weakness is....... i get distracted.
I stay at home with my children, I feed them, i bath them and I clean the house for them but for the past year I have been distracted.
There are so many things that distract me.....
1. The Internet!!! That is the biggest one on the list. Ugh! Most days i HATE the internet but it sucks me in like a black hole and then 2 hours have gone by and nothing has been done that i said i was going to do and the house looks like a bomb went off!
2. Books. I love to read. I could spend hours reading and reading. I have come to realize that i enjoyed the fictional worlds way more then my own life.... That was something needed to change. I felt happy reading but being pulled from the book world to my own left me feeling empty and i hated that.
3. TV shows. I love watching TV shows. I would sit at my computer and watch shows all day. Who care about the house? Kids go eat out of the fridge!
I was happy.... right? That stuff made me happy. Then why did i feel so miserable?
I hit the point where i was so unhappy that i knew something had to change or it was going to be bad.
I was praying one day, and i told Heavenly Father that i give it all to him. I gave him all my distractions. I told him that i would have faith that getting rid of those distractions and doing what i know i should be doing would make so much more happier then what those things are giving me.
Fast forward a few months and it is so true. I truly am more happy then any other time since Jacob was born. I am not saying that i never watch tv, or a never get on the internet or never read. I just try to balance it out and not let it take over my life. I spend more time with my children and I actually love it! I can read posts about mothers who love being a mom and not feel sick. I can look at my children and say to myself "This is where i want to be."
So with that all said that is how the Homeschooling journey began.
I started to pray for a way that I can be a better mom. For a way to not let those distractions take over my life again. Homeschooling was the answer.
I know homeschooling is not for everyone and I did not think it was for me. How could I teach my children everything they need to know! That is what scared me. It was overwhelming. After a lot of prayer and fasting I know that Homeschooling is what my family needs, this is what I need. I know that this will help me be the mom i want to be. I just have to have the Faith that Heavenly Father will lead us and show us how to teach our children. He wants them to grow and learn and Follow Him just as much Neal and I do. Satan is everywhere. he takes things that are good and turns them around on us. Satan knows I won't leave my children but he can make me hate being a mother. he can turn my heart to other things and not to my children. I will not let him do that.
I am strong enough.
I am courageous enough.
I am smart enough.
That doesn't mean I am not scared. I am terrified. But i am going to jump into this with both feet. It is going to be an adjustment for all of us. I am not a patient person, so there is going to be a lot of praying! I know it will take a while for us to find what works but i have faith that Heavenly Father will guide us there.
Homeschooling is not something I ever, Ever, EVER would have thought to do.
There, with that out of the way I will tell you why I am going to homeschool my children.
If you know me and if you have been reading this blog you know having child #3 has been a difficult journey for me. A learning year. I have found out more about myself this year then really any other year. I have learned my weaknesses and faults.
and one of my biggest weakness is....... i get distracted.
I stay at home with my children, I feed them, i bath them and I clean the house for them but for the past year I have been distracted.
There are so many things that distract me.....
1. The Internet!!! That is the biggest one on the list. Ugh! Most days i HATE the internet but it sucks me in like a black hole and then 2 hours have gone by and nothing has been done that i said i was going to do and the house looks like a bomb went off!
2. Books. I love to read. I could spend hours reading and reading. I have come to realize that i enjoyed the fictional worlds way more then my own life.... That was something needed to change. I felt happy reading but being pulled from the book world to my own left me feeling empty and i hated that.
3. TV shows. I love watching TV shows. I would sit at my computer and watch shows all day. Who care about the house? Kids go eat out of the fridge!
I was happy.... right? That stuff made me happy. Then why did i feel so miserable?
I hit the point where i was so unhappy that i knew something had to change or it was going to be bad.
I was praying one day, and i told Heavenly Father that i give it all to him. I gave him all my distractions. I told him that i would have faith that getting rid of those distractions and doing what i know i should be doing would make so much more happier then what those things are giving me.
Fast forward a few months and it is so true. I truly am more happy then any other time since Jacob was born. I am not saying that i never watch tv, or a never get on the internet or never read. I just try to balance it out and not let it take over my life. I spend more time with my children and I actually love it! I can read posts about mothers who love being a mom and not feel sick. I can look at my children and say to myself "This is where i want to be."
So with that all said that is how the Homeschooling journey began.
I started to pray for a way that I can be a better mom. For a way to not let those distractions take over my life again. Homeschooling was the answer.
I know homeschooling is not for everyone and I did not think it was for me. How could I teach my children everything they need to know! That is what scared me. It was overwhelming. After a lot of prayer and fasting I know that Homeschooling is what my family needs, this is what I need. I know that this will help me be the mom i want to be. I just have to have the Faith that Heavenly Father will lead us and show us how to teach our children. He wants them to grow and learn and Follow Him just as much Neal and I do. Satan is everywhere. he takes things that are good and turns them around on us. Satan knows I won't leave my children but he can make me hate being a mother. he can turn my heart to other things and not to my children. I will not let him do that.
I am strong enough.
I am courageous enough.
I am smart enough.
That doesn't mean I am not scared. I am terrified. But i am going to jump into this with both feet. It is going to be an adjustment for all of us. I am not a patient person, so there is going to be a lot of praying! I know it will take a while for us to find what works but i have faith that Heavenly Father will guide us there.
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